Things they don’t show you in porn

Porn. Sooner or later, you will watch one and you will either be really disappointed or it will tickle your pickle. But mark my words, you will eventually see one. Now, most porno’s  show the same thing; the horrible story line, the typical porn music, the overreacting woman screaming at the top of her lungs and so forth. But there are things that porno’s don’t show you…

Yes, sometimes sex is something that can be really sexy, passionate and fun but the thing that makes me laugh about porno’s is how fake and unrealistic they make sex seem sometimes. Now before you say, “porn isn’t supposed to be realistic” I have one thing to say to you and that’s, “write your own article on porn then”.

  • Porn doesn’t show you the giggles and awkward laughter after a funny sound (queefing) has been made.
  • Drunk sex….enough said.
  • Leg cramps.
  • Accidentally elbowing or punching the other person.
  • The awkward sex initiation.
  • Sleepy sex.
  • Hairy assholes.
  • The awkward, “hey, can you get me a tissue” thing.
  • Asking the pharmacist for plan b.

Porn makes sex look almost robotic, when sex should be something that’s fun and spontaneous. Now undoubtedly as you read through that small list you giggled and reminisced back on a time one or more of those things happened to you in real life. I’m sure there are way more things that could be added to the list, but it’s all that I could think of for now.

ugh

2 comments

  1. Jessicajane · · Reply

    “Accidentally elbowing or punching the other person” hahahaha you crack me up.

    1. It’s happened to me lol

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